Cookies everywhere

I spent all day yesterday making 8 different kind of cookies which yielded 32 dozen cookies all total.

My house smells like Christmas now. I still want to do some pumkin bread and possibly a apple pie and pumpkin pie.

I have the tree up... I still have to decorate it... Maybe I'll get to that tonight.

Calming Influence

I've been praying for a calming influence in my life lately. I am looking for a job. I've got my resume posted on Monster. I've faxed it to several recruiters and I've been scanning the want adds.

To the person that commented that I needed to grow a backbone. My personality apparently doesn't come across well in my blog. I did stand up for myself. I did tell her why I didn't seem concerned. I did tell her to leave me be. I just needed to vent and make sure that I wasn't being a harpy. In my job, the only person to go to is the boss and the boss is stuck between a rock and a hard place cause he has to have this person because she's the only one in the office that speaks the foreign language that 1/4 of our customers speak. He doesn't want to upset her cause she might leave and the foreign language is not a common one so it's hard to find another person that speaks the same language and can do our job.

I want to just walk out on the job. I can't. Finances dictate that I have to have a steady income and not let my emotions rule here. It is getting harder and harder not to tell them to stuff it. I don't want to put my family or my new house in jeopardy just because of my temper. I am working harder and harder to find the new job. I redouble my efforts every time and incident occurs at work but the hard truth of the matter is that I have to put up with it until I get another job. I do speak back and most of the time it makes the matter worse but I'm not gonna be tramped on.

I've been out sick the last two days and still feel pretty crappy. The job repayed me by giving me most of the phone calls today. At least the day went faster since I was busy though so I don't mind them doing that to me. It's actually funny that they believe this is a punishment.

Close to quitting without a job to go to.

I can't take this anymore. Money just isn't worth it. I would rather be struggling with my bills again that dealing with this. This morning, I got told that I was a horrible person and that I was being mean for no reason and I was going to hell. You guys know me. I'm not mean by nature. I will tell you if I don't like something but I try not to be mean about it unless it's my family and then all bets are off.
The background for this accusation. P was going to be out of the office to have some minor surgery. Very minor surgery. Her surgery was last Wednesday and she's back at work today. Before she left, I asked her what hospital thinking I'd be nice and send a little flower since I knew she had to stay over night. She told me my doctor's hospital. When I asked which hospital is that, she replied with my doctor's. I don't have her home or cell number. I'm not that close to her. She called the office on Thursday and told the boss that she was okay. Boss told us. Okay. She called the office on Monday and told the boss she was feeling much better and would be back to work on Wednesday instead of taking the full 2 weeks off. Boss told us. This morning I got to work before her. I had my computer up and was working on something when she walked in. I looked up and said Good Morning, she replied with a very sharp and nasty "morning". I went back to what I was doing to finish up. She went to her computer and tried to bring it up but she had forgotten her password so she got on the phone with regional to get them to reset her password. I continued working since she was on the phone. When she gets off the phone, she proceeds to tell us we are horrible people cause we didn't ask how she was or how her surgery was and we didn't come see her or call her or send her flowers. I'm still trying to figure out how I was supposed to call her, see her or send her flowers since I didn't know what hospital, didn't know her phone number and didn't know her address. I was going to ask how she was even though the boss had already told us she was okay but she was very nasty when she walked in and got right on the phone and stayed on the phone for 20 minutes and then started yelling at us as soon as she got off the phone.
ARGH!!
I'm tired of being judged by her standards and found horrible. I'm tired of being told I'm going to hell for being a horrible person. I'm tired of her telling customers that I don't know what I'm doing and that I don't do anything in the office. I do 40% of the applications every month and I'm 1 of the 3 people here. I should only be doing 33% but I'm not, I'm doing more. If I don't have things to do, I ask if I can help anyone. She doesn't do that.
The kicker of it… When I told the boss what happened, he told me to just ignore it and forget about it. HUH?
It's no wonder that I'm stitching so much at night. I get so stressed out at work that it takes me 3 hours of stitching just to unknot the tense muscles and start to relax!

Down to 2 more doctor visits

The gastro specialist was actually nice. He ran some tests while I waited and took a look where I really prefer not to be looked at. His initial thoughts: Maybe I need one of those enzymes the gall bladder produces and no one thought to tell me that. He gave some pills to try for 2 weeks and if they don't work, I have another set to try. If neither of those help it's back in for another colonoscopy, mri and lots more bloodwork. Some of the tests he ran weren't immediate either so I get to go back for a follow up as well.

I've got the follow up from the sleep study on the 19th of this month to tell me if I need a CPAP or BIPAP or I just need to sleep with a thing that looks like a football mouthguard at night.

The follow up with the gastro is on Janurary 4th to see if they can finally get my stomach under control. This would be nice.

I've seen 5 different doctors in 1 month. I have had good news so far. Most of the fear of Cancer has been eliminated. Now I just have to prey for the enzyme pills to work cause if they don't there may be more surgery in my near future and I really don't want to start 2007 on that note. I've been on the pills for a couple of days now and they do seem to be helping a little so I'm trying to be optomistic.

One person should not have all of these health issues. I actually got told that I eat too much fruit. I didn't know you could eat too much fruit. I like fruit. I'm supposed to eat more veggies and more bran. I already eat a good amount of that stuff too. Sometimes I think the doctors are crazy and I should tell them all to stuff it and eat what makes me happy and to heck with the consequences! Of course I was good and had a sandwich and healthy choice chicken noodle soup for lunch.