Friday, December 15, 2006

Calming Influence

I've been praying for a calming influence in my life lately. I am looking for a job. I've got my resume posted on Monster. I've faxed it to several recruiters and I've been scanning the want adds.

To the person that commented that I needed to grow a backbone. My personality apparently doesn't come across well in my blog. I did stand up for myself. I did tell her why I didn't seem concerned. I did tell her to leave me be. I just needed to vent and make sure that I wasn't being a harpy. In my job, the only person to go to is the boss and the boss is stuck between a rock and a hard place cause he has to have this person because she's the only one in the office that speaks the foreign language that 1/4 of our customers speak. He doesn't want to upset her cause she might leave and the foreign language is not a common one so it's hard to find another person that speaks the same language and can do our job.

I want to just walk out on the job. I can't. Finances dictate that I have to have a steady income and not let my emotions rule here. It is getting harder and harder not to tell them to stuff it. I don't want to put my family or my new house in jeopardy just because of my temper. I am working harder and harder to find the new job. I redouble my efforts every time and incident occurs at work but the hard truth of the matter is that I have to put up with it until I get another job. I do speak back and most of the time it makes the matter worse but I'm not gonna be tramped on.

I've been out sick the last two days and still feel pretty crappy. The job repayed me by giving me most of the phone calls today. At least the day went faster since I was busy though so I don't mind them doing that to me. It's actually funny that they believe this is a punishment.


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